


Manchester United Versus Liverpool

by PlainTiger



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Early Work, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27616712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlainTiger/pseuds/PlainTiger
Summary: Assuming they don’t stop (and they won’t), Ed can easily get them to the Intellectual Property Office and register them as aperpetuum mobile.
Kudos: 2





	Manchester United Versus Liverpool

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Манчестер Юнайтед — Ливерпуль](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300970) by [PlainTiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlainTiger/pseuds/PlainTiger). 



“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

Ed knew it would happen one day. He just didn’t know when exactly.

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

The thing is, there were absolutely no signs for this to happen. It was an ordinary rehearsal of Monday Night Football with unrelated teams, not Manchester United, not Liverpool. Yet the moment Ed got distracted...

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

They even started to get closer recently, went to a pub together. They could have been best friends, but there are two things that would never allow it.

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

A new set of opposites was born today. Fire versus Water, Earth versus Air, Gary Neville versus Jamie Carragher.

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

Seriously, they don’t react to anything. Hunger, thirst, other people in the studio—all this can wait. Even if one of them died, Death would have to wait till they finish.

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

Assuming they don’t stop (and they won’t), Ed can easily get them to the Intellectual Property Office and register them as a _perpetuum mobile_. At least it will be of some use, rather than none.

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

Or maybe it could be a new unit of time. One “Manchester United versus Liverpool” lasts nearly one second, which means that the rehearsal ends in one hundred and twenty Manchester-United-versus-Liverpools.

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

Or a new format of Monday Night Football. The ratings will skyrocket! The viewers, too, since they are, sadly (or thankfully), not immortal. Ed isn’t, either.

Coffee break, maybe?

“Manchester United!”

“Liverpool!”

“Southampton!”

Only silence remains now, as they are both staring at Ed with a confused look on their faces. Today he learned how to switch it off.


End file.
